Sarawak Culture PELAH HAWA Traditional Kayan Wedding

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The Wedding

Finally, the bride goes to invite the groom. For this, the bride is accompanied by her eight companions and other relatives. On reaching the groom's amin, the bride is seated next to the groom. The groom's parents are asked if they agree to the marriage and allow the groom to be 'taken away' to the bride's amin. After the agreement, the bride asks the groom: "Do you want to marry me?" The groom answers with a 'yes'. The couple then walk out of the groom's amin and proceeds to the bride's amin.

bride fetch groom

In the olden days, along the way back to the bride's amin, the couple would be stopped or blocked by the bride's family. This was where the jai was demanded by the bride's family in the form of sarongs, malat buk and even tawak. If the groom's family failed to fulfil the demands, the wedding ceremony might not continue.

blockade blockade blockade

On the other hand, if the groom succeeded in breaking through the blockade and entered the bride's amin, no jai was to be awarded at all to the bride's family. This also meant that the groom had shown his strength and merit. As a strategy, the groom would ask the assistance of the strongest men among his family or friends to break through any blockade put up by the bride's family.

In the contemporary traditional wedding, a prior agreement is made by the couple's family on what items are to be given as jai to the bride's parents and siblings to avoid complications. The jai is done at the wedding. The jai is given by the groom's parent to the bride's parents in the form of tawak.

Each parent will be given one. This is not considered as exchange or barter but more as a symbol that a man is now taking care of their daughter. The tawak will be kept by the parents in their original amin. The siblings are given the malat buk or malat according to the class structure. Sometimes, only the men are given the parang and the women are given the sarongs. The Panyin is expected to give agung as jai to the bride's parents.