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  4. Being Happy

Being Happy

image description
Call no.
: 158/BEN
Penulis
: Tal Ben-Shahar
Penyumbang
: Zuwahir Binti Ilias
Ringkasan
I found this book to be a really interesting read. The most salient and potent information for me was the author’s focus on perfectionism, and how perfectionism prevents and blocks our happiness. The author talks about how the perfectionist is never satisfied—with themselves, with their work, with friends, or with other relationships. I have known a perfectionist on this level, and it was a very challenging, painful relationship. I wish I had read the book before meeting her! Instead, the author recommends being an “Optimalist.” Optimalists accept failure as natural, and they accept painful emotions as part of life, and don’t try to suppress them. Basically, the perfectionist rejects reality and painful emotions, and keeps their suffering bottled up, and the Optimalist accepts reality, failure, dark emotions, as well as their success—as part of life. And this distinction, is really at the heart of our happiness and satisfaction in life, and with our relationships. Of course, the book is about so much more. I loved the Chapter on Optimal Love. In the back of the book, the author shares 10 Meditations, each one focusing on obstacles to our happiness and how to overcome them. Here’s an example from the book, the author is talking about Defensiveness: “Perfectionists perceive every criticism as potentially catastrophic, a dangerous assault on their sense of self-worth. Perfectionists often become extremely antagonistic when criticized and consequently are unable to assess whether there is any merit in the criticism and whether they can learn from it.” And, “The perfectionist wants to look good, and therefore she tries to appear flawless by deflecting criticism. She will go to great lengths to convince others that the way she views herself is indeed correct.” I highly recommend this book.

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